The absolute joy of being a coach is when you get to sit back and witness something new emerging in the person you are coaching.
And then, getting the privilege to share what you’re witnessing out loud with that person.
And give them an opportunity to recognise what is happening.
Often, I’ll invite a client to think about the old story, and the new one that’s emerging.
Perhaps what was once “I do as I’m told” becomes “I have some questions” which then becomes “I have some thoughts I’d like to share” which becomes “I am a leader”.
It’s a delicious process, to help someone notice how the stories they are telling about who they are, or what they do are evolving – to help them to connect with the reality that they are in no way a fixed entity – that who they were this morning isn’t necessarily who they are this afternoon - that they are a dynamic and evolving being, who is always in some state of becoming.
It’s such a fun process to walk with people. It’s a fun journey to be on yourself.
There is so much relief in recognising that change will keep on coming – that not a one of us is ‘done’. Outside of your physical death, there is not a moment when you graduate from life. But if we’re paying any kind of attention, our lives and our work and our relationships are going to keep inviting us to shift and change and become something new.
Our spouses, friends, and children shape shift continually, and so do we.
There is a kind of hubris when we trick ourselves into believing we know with some kind of imaginary certainty exactly what someone will say, do or think – because like us, they too are becoming something new.
And coaching is a really special space for noticing those shifts and changes.
Sometimes they are glaringly obvious – we start a new job or move to a new country and everything around us is different. Other times, we show up in the same job, commute from the same house and greet the same colleagues, and yet we at our very core are different beings – we have shifted radically even when externally everything else is exactly the same.
Apparently (so google tells me) it was the ancient Greek Heraclitus who said “everything flows, nothing stands still”.
Look out your window. I bet there’s some natural phenomena proving Heraclitus right – a cloud, a weed, the wind – there’s evidence everywhere.
And we humans are no different.
Stuck-ness feels real when it’s happening. Certainty can feel delicious if it’s the ‘right’ kind. But change (the only constant) is always just around the corner, ready to remind us that we, too, are part of this flowing tapestry of existence.