I’ve been reading The Power of Now again. I return to it time and time again. It’s jam packed with wisdom, and every time I read it I gain some life altering insight. To bottom-line its message for anyone who’s not read it, it’s basically: think less, and you’ll be happier and saner than you thought possible. The past has gone, the future is yet to come, and when it does, it can only happen in the present moment anyway.
This recent return to the book highlighted how much of my thought space of late has been focussed on moving away from the present moment. Either planning, or imagining, or remembering. And not much ‘being’ at all.
To be honest, it’s not been that much fun.
There aren’t many moments of joy when you get fully into that monkey mindset. There aren’t any gaps for the sun to shine in. In fact it starts to feel a bit relentless and overwhelming.
So the quietness I’ve remembered as I’ve re-read Eckhart’s words is a delightful relief. I feel unburdened from trying to think it all out in advance. Or reflect on what has passed, or what might be about to happen.
I feel more present than I have in a long time.
I needed that reminder. I needed to be told, once again, that now is where it’s at. That being present, right in this very moment, fleeting and brief as it is - is actually all there is.
Everything that has passed is over, the rest is yet to come, and will come in the present moment, and no where else.
All my imaginings about what’s going to happen, or how this or that will be received by others, is only actually happening right here and now. Not anywhere else.
My thinking does not change the outcome.
My planning does not control how things ultimately unfold. Bracing myself for this or that disaster makes not a jot of difference to the actual event that will come and go as briefly as this moment has.
It’s a crazy trick of the mind. In fact, it’s a cruel kind of lie that we can somehow control things through our thoughts. On reflection, my thoughts have caused me more angst and suffering than any individual life event ever has. It’s absolutely not what has happened to me that causes suffering, it’s been my thinking about it. My processing and ruminating, and then dealing with the ensuing emotions, that come less as a result of the event itself, but more as a result of my thoughts about the event.
How bonkers is that?
The thing, the life event, the circumstance, is not the thing that upsets me. Or maybe it upsets me momentarily. Maybe I’m thrown off balance temporarily. But actually, what turns me upside down and inside out is all the blessed thinking.
The inside of my head can become inordinately busy. Sometimes there are multiple narratives going at a fast pace. They tumble over each other, trying to gain prominence and get my attention. They argue with one another and with themselves.
It’s a ridiculous situation in there sometimes.
Messy and noisy and unsettling.
When the internal nattering is at its worst, there’s literally no opportunity to rest. However still my body may be, the infernal chatter in my brain never seems to let up. It rambles and ruminates, and searches for answers that can never come.
So when the peace comes, and I am reminded that it’s background noise and very little else - oh the bliss! Oh the magic of my tired mind finally coming to rest. Pausing, exhausted, to take a moment, and wonder what an earth that was all about.
It is a sweet relief like no other.
It’s a release from my own self induced torment.
This is the place where inspiration lies in wait. This is the place where my best ideas are founded. This is the realest of all my realities.
I think I’m going to rest here a while…..